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May 15th, 2005


12:34 am
I'm at andreas . . . just where I should be! Home may be boring but it's good to be back. I had a wonderful time going to the empty bar with Joc and Fandrea talking about how much people have grown and become better people. It's nice to see that are friends seem to generally be taking the turn for the better. I got to see Wixy, Anni, Jackie, Caroline, and of course nate at nates! Neal gets home in a week and then the foursome will be home and soon off to Montreal . .. I can't wait. Glenn Close = 101 dalmations.

I would give anything to watch James and the Giant Peach right now . . .. and the muppets. . . . I keep watching previews before Oliver and company and I keep wanting to watch everything.

love :)
Current Mood: relaxedrelaxed

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April 12th, 2005


10:56 am
I don't even know why I bothered putting an entry before saying I suck updating just to have another vast amount of time pass by before I update again. I don't want to put anymore of those stupid quiz shits in my LJ, they're stupid and I was reading old entries and I don't know why I did so many of them. Do you honestly care what movie star I'm like as a conclusion from a bunch of vague questions?

I miss piano lessons.

Anyway, Serendipity PAC show is this weekend. Talk about fucking STREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS
I lost my voice and we have a show tonight, and I really can't sing a note so I'm mute today in hopes I might just be able to squeak out my solos. I've been drinking "warm piss" i.e. Apple Cider vinegar, boiling water and honey .. sounds just yummy don't it?

So I started my job at target . .. I have to go in tomorrow. . on my fucking birthday, but whatever. My birthday is just kinda slipping past me this year, because of Serendipity and by the time I can celebrate it, it'll be Liss' birthday and mine will be old news. But back to target. Not everyone, but a lot of people who work there seem a little too passionate about the store. I'm not used to jobs where I have to watch all these movies and shit. Where I'm from every store is owned by someones parents and you just go, no application even necessary. But the videos have these really weird people in them .. . they're not straight up sketchy looking, but something about there overdone smile makes you think they watch kiddy porn. But I do have to admit, they're new pharmacy system is fucking cool. Overly complicated. . . but woah, who knew viles could have aerodynamics.

I was thinking about Jonny today . .. so if your reading this . . I haven't talked to you in about forever and a half, how the fuck are ya? I miss ya.

My live journals are never one consistant thought . . so on that note

Chorale is gonna blow today, I a) can't sing and b) have to sit in front of "Jack" Let me tell you a little something about "Jack." Jack is one of the 50 + year olds in chorale. I have no issues with elder people in chorale, but I do have issues with ones who try to re live their youth through it. He's always fucking saying the most annoying shit to me, and bragging. OH AND WHEN HE SIIIIIIIIIIINGS. When he's singing with the chorale he ROOOOOARS over everyone else, he fucking thinks he's Pavirotti. Then when there are breaks where the soloist sings he sings them like we want to hear that . . over . . and over . . oh and when the tenors aren't singing HE SINGS THE SOPRANO PART to be like "look how high I can sing" . .. and he can sing that high it sounds like someone is running over a really fat cat, but it won't die, so they keep running over it over and over.

anyway . . that's enough for now. There's more but I'm lazy.
Current Mood: tiredtired

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March 26th, 2005


08:41 am
I suck at updating.

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February 15th, 2005


10:30 pm
let's make a comparison:

A friend:
Someone who will tell you when you're fucking yourselves over. A person who will do what ever it takes to get you to stop even if it means not talking to them which hurts the most. Just so they'll stop, because a friend cares whether you die. A friend cares that you are ruining yourself for life. A friend looks out for your future not just immediate satisfaction. A friend won't pretend everything is okay when it's not, they'll tell you the truth .. not ignore it. A friend will open their home to you. A friend will stay up with you till 4 in the morning playing monopoly completely sober, because each others company is still just as fun if not more fun. A friend doesn't get mad when they throw wet bread at their cat. A friend will give up anything just for you. Someone who when you're in a fight and you won't pick up the phone will show up at your door just to make sure you talk it out. Someone who'll let you crash at their home so you can stay out all night on graduation night too. Someone who will go to the movies with you and your cousin just so they can see you.

Not A Friend:
Ignoring reality for immediate satisfaction. Someone who will accept less of you, when you are capable of so much more. Someone who can't realize that a trip to pizza and brew eating penne vodka will make you feel just as better about shit as smoking some weed, if not even better. Someone who will actually let you rot away all your potential doing drugs, and appreciate you for that. Someone who doesn't care that what you're doing to yourself might kill your chances of getting out of that hell hole that is home, let alone just kill yourself period.

Now you tell me. . . . who is really your friend. What decisions should you make? and who is really looking out for you?
Don't sit there and tell me you're not strong, because you are, you just need to chose who the fuck you chill with. Cuz' your actions completely change with different people. You can be strong and responsible if you hang out with people who truly care about you and really know what's good for you, and don't tell me what you're doing right now is good or better for you cuz it's not. Just stop. Don't sit there and tell me you can't, I don't want to hear it. I want you to just stop, the more you do the worse it gets. Things aren't getting better because you keep doing more and more drugs. It's pathetic and you are being pathetic. (and no offense to you younger kids) You're actually acting like some 11th grader in high school has some sense of reality and what's okay. Not to mention an 11th grade drug addict, oh that's really going to take you in the right direction. RE-AL-I-TY CHECK. You are an adult. . . start acting like one. No amount of drugs or alcohol is going get you away from your parents, even if it makes you feel better for a few hours. The only thing that will set you free is graduating from college, getting a job, getting an apartment. The only thing your doing is helping your parents close the doors to your freedom. Grow up.
Current Mood: irritatedirritated
Current Music: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists

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07:51 pm
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists . . . two thumbs up

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February 12th, 2005


08:29 pm
If you read this,
even if i don't speak to you often,
you must post a memory of me.
it can be anything you want, it can be good or bad,
just so long as it happened.
then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you....

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January 23rd, 2005


11:57 am

Your Celebrity Sisters Are Paris and Nicky


Wild, infamous, and stunningly gorgeous.
You cause a scene wherever you go



Who Are Your Celebrity Sisters? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.




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January 18th, 2005


12:57 pm - watch out folks. . . it's dangerously cold
I kind of had a crazy night last night. I really majorly bonded with two cab drivers last night. On the way to the bar we analyzed the Rollings Stones musical development, it was really interesting he knew so much more than me. On the way home I split a cigarette with this really chill cab driver and he took us to Dutch quad on this really weird path that I didn't know about at all. But it's pretty usless considering I don't have a car. But I like secret pathways!

I went out with the suitemates (minus Ari) to Paulys, drank a lot of beer and Soco got pretty drunk and good drunk not the drunk I've been getting lately which is just absolutely obliterated. I sang some kareoke which is always fun, you get to be a total rockstar for lil' while. Danced. Someone did this free style over the Eye of the Tiger. . . I was really pissed. I was so excited when the song came on, and this fucker starts rapping . . asshole. I wandered over to Cagney's <3 where I saw Ms. Jana and people from her casa including ABBY! I saw a crap load of other people I hadn't seen in a long time, duh vacation. I chilled . .. maybe I had a drink I'm not sure but I took a cab back with a incredibly drunk Mariel. We went to dutch and chilled with Ben A. Where he played us a few tunes with his new looper which I'm obsessed with, that thing is amazing and he really does some awesome shit with it. Then we all lied down on the bathroom floor so Mariel could talk to us *lol i love you! I got a late night drunk dial from maggie!! I'm so pissed she was in Albany and downtown and I didn't even know it! I guess it would've been to cold to walk over to Michael's anyway. Then we had a slumber party yay . . . I opted for sleeping on the extra bed outside so I missed any conversations past 5 30 in the morning. Snuck out at 1030 this morning, and got dunkin' donuts with all my suitemates. Supposedly I have to go back and make Ben's bed . . . I'm not exactly sure why but I don't think I'm going to. It's cold out and Step by Step is on tv. I love the theme song but the show is def. mediocre in comparison to full house.

"I want to be a rock star so I can get arrested for bitch slapping a groupie for not putting out"
Current Mood: nauseatedhungover
Current Music: abercrombie & fitch music leaking from lei's room

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January 14th, 2005


01:09 am
So on my drive home I felt like I got raped by a Rain Forest. . . and not a real forest but the kind they have at the bronx zoo. The rain hitting my windshield was so weird, it was like a black and white old movie where the screen is really fuzzy, or a strobe light. The rain sounded like those sound effects you hear when you go to the "Psuedo Rainforest" in the bronx zoo with all the monkies. Also, whenever a car was coming towards me on the other side of the road their headlights made it so I could see the fog drifting. The heat was on full blast too so it was like humid in my car. I wish I could properly describe what the rain had looked like hitting my windshield though. I can't seem to do it justice with words. It was really beautiful and I have never seen anything like that before.

ya know. DJ every day a whole bunch of times a day does "hits" on these websites where everytime he clicks on them they give money to save rainforests. . . or to help with research for breast cancer. He also recycles every single piece of paper known to man. We have envelopes that have been used about four times and he'll use them for a fifth . . cuz "that's what scotch tape is for." I used to have the link to those websites, I wish I still did. He's a good man. No matter how insane he may drive me sometimes . . . . I may bitch and bitch and BIIIIITCH . . . but he really does have a good heart. Of course I'm saying this all before I go back and have to work for him again for a whole semester. I'm sure in a week my LJ will be like DJ YOU ARE EVIL ROAR ROAR ROAR.

I've been playing with my new Ben Folds piano book A LOT. I thought I'd be playing Jane none stop cuz it just sounds amazing, but I'm not. Instead I'm playing Don't Change Your Plans For Me. The way this song is written is just beautiful. The structure, and the way things come in . . . I wish I could show you guys, but I can't, well I could scan it in and blah blah blah . . but would anyone actually want to see that? I doubt it. I played piano for SEVEN HOURS TODAY. . . SEVEN HOURS. . . my back is killing me! I had to sight read piece after piece for Mary, she's doing this project for her senior year with an insane amount of music to choose from. At least I know I can still sight read. Also her mom offered me a job at the beginning of my summer vacation which is absolutely AWESOME. I'd get to play piano for little kiddies which is always fun :).

Past two nights have been late night board games with Mr Neal, Ms Andrea, and Ms Denise. In the end . .. Monopoly is my thing . . but I suck at Life (that sounds depressing but it's not supposed to be) *note to self home owners insurance is a must.

I don't think I'll have a cell phone tomorrow . .. cuz my service runs out! As of Sat. I will be "IN" . . Verizon Mobile Bitaches . . . I'm gettin me a neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew phone. WOOHOO!

Night Kiddies'
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: peoples obnoxious sign on/off music

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January 12th, 2005


10:03 am
____Favorite_____
1. gum: winterfresh
2. restaurant: Candlelight .. duh
3. drink: H20
4. season: summer
5. type of weather: warm rain
6. emotion: horny!! just kiddin' . . happy
7. thing to do on a half day: I don't have half days
8. late-night activity: sleeping/bars sleeping in bars etc.
9. sport: frisbee or badmitten
10. city: albany :-)
11. store: the late night deli in yonkers where we buy beer

_______When was the last time you_______

12. cried: monday
13. played a sport: I don't really play actual sports . . . I played a lil' frisbee over the summer
14. laughed: probably sometime while watching bubble boy this morning
15. hugged someone: today . . . my kitty . . . but then he bit me . .
16. kissed someone: lord knows
17. felt depressed: yesterday
18. felt overworked: end of last semester
19. faked sick: I dunno, I'm usually just real sick
20. lied: can't remember

_______What was the last_______

21. word you said: bye!
22. thing you ate: a cold eggroll . .. and I'm not even at school yet!
23. song you listened to: some partridge family song
24. thing you drank: water!
25. place you went to: Rocky's Deli
26. movie you went to: Meet the Fockers with Denise and Andrea
27. movie you rented: napoleon dynamite

_______Who was the last person you_______

28. hugged: hm . . Brian
29. cried over: Kimmy
30. kissed: all my loves on new years
31. danced with: my mommy while baking cookies
32. shared a secret with: Katie munk
33. had a sleepover with: Nikki
34. called: Katie
35. went to a movie with: Andrea and Denise
36. saw: my dad
37. were angry with: nobody really ..
38. cant take your eyes off: my kitty . . . my satanic fuzzy little munk
39. obsessed over: sh! it's a secret :x

_______Have you ever_______

40. danced in the rain: all the time . . . and in the winter . . I dance in the snow
41. kissed someone: yah
42. done drugs: not in a long long long long time . . . kinda
43. drank alcohol: not in a couple of days :(
44. partied 'til the sun came up: haha . . . of course
45. had a movie marathon: yes
46. gone too far on a dare: probably
47. spun until you were immensely dizzy: I used to go crazy on those spinny chairs. .. so much easier than doing it by foot
48. taken a survey quite like this before: what else am I gonna do . . no one else wakes up before fucking 2 pm, unless your andrea. . . cuz then it's 4 pm or whenever the sun goes down

_______My life_______

49. name: Pam
50. gender: W-O-M-A-N
51. birthday: Ap.13.1985
52. relationship status: married with 13 children (which is Cantanese for single)
53. nationality: Lithuanian/Romanian
54. occupation: Rock Star

_______Play_______

55. i'm feeling: lazy
56. i'm listening to: the annoying buzz of my computer, it's meditating at night . . but during the day it just pisses me off
57. i'm doing: this survey
58. i'm talking to: nobody (refer to answer 48)
59. i'm craving: . .. nothing right now
60. i'm thinking of: how good my new deoderant smells! . . it's peaches!

_______Love_______

62. love is: All you need
63. my first love: Nick Finger. .. I was in first grade and he was like a 4th grader or 5th grader . . . and my piano teachers so and I loved him .. . I LOVED HIM SO MUCH. . . WE SHOULD'VE BEEN TOGETHER. . . lol
64. my current love: Alphabet soup
65. love or lust: lovust
66. best love song: I DON'T WANNA CLOSE MY EYES . . I DON'T WANNA FALL ASLEEP CUZ I'LL MISS YA BABY . . AND I DON'T WANNA MISS YOU BABBBBBBBBBE. . . I hate that fucking song
67. is it possible to be in love w/ more than one person at the same time? No
69. is there such thing as love @ first sight?: hasn't happen to me, but personally .. I really need to know the person I'm in love with. But there's def. crush at first sight.

_______Opposite sex_______

70. turn ons: musicians/singers . . . I don't really ask for much else
71. turn offs: cockyness, oh . . and hairiness . . wax your back boys
72. do your parent's opinion on your gf/bf matter to you?: It could
73. what kinda hairstyle are you into?: 3 foot mohawks . . and mullets
74. what is the sweetest thing a girl/guy can do for you?: at this point in time . . all I want is a guy to buy me a drink :)
75. where do you go to meet new people?: I don't go anywhere to meet people . . . I usually go to bars and as a result I get drunk . . and then I meet people
76. are you the type of person to HOLLa and ask for numbers?: "to Holla and ask for numbers?" . .. uh.. . . hm . . nope

_Picky picky_______

77. dog or cat: cat
78. short or long hair: long
79. sunshine or rain: sunshine
80. hugs or kisses: kisses
81. summer or winter: summer
82. written letters or e-mails: I like to get written letters but I like to send emails
83. playstation or nintendo: nintendo
84. car or motorcycle: car
85. house party or club: BAR
86. sing or dance: sing!
87. freak or slow dance: um . . "freak"

_______Lately_______


88. how are you today? okay
89. what pants are you wearing right now?: pink sweatpants
90. what shirt are you wearing right now? Neal's sweatshirt
91. what does your hair look like at the moment: messy curly
92. what song are you listening to right now? nada . . but I'm about to listen to some Muse
93. how is the weather right now? Kinda crappy .. but I kinda like it. Snow was awesome last night
94. who was last person you talked to on the phone?: katie
95. last dream i can remember?: I almost never remember my dreams . . . :-( thanks for reminding me
Current Mood: soreear ache

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